This weekend I broke my usual habit of hiding in my cave and responded to a roomate's request for me to hang out with them and some visiting friends downstairs. They had some dub spinning on the turntables so I decided to come down and dance instead of just being irritated by the thumpy boom-boom up in my room where the only audible frequencies are nauseating bass. I danced for awhile and then went out to the front porch to cool off and view beautiful Luna rising in the east. A friendly black cat came to greet me and when I sat cross legged up on a big square part of the porch railing he jumped in my lap and let me pet him for awhile. Then a girl who was visiting came out and the cat fell asleep in my lap. We chatted for awhile and then she got a phone call and went into cell phone land which normally I would find irritating in the middle of a conversation. But then I noticed the cat blissfully ignoring everything and snoozing away. I decided to follow the cat's example and just looked at Luna, flinging some yucky Qi off my hands to the ground.
Later I went back inside and tried to dance some more, but I felt pretty ungrounded. I went upstairs to get my kung fu stick, a twisty willow staff that I've had since around 1994 that I've recently begun to use to strengthen and open my wrist joints. I danced to the dub for a good long while, letting the weight and wood of the stick to guide my motions and show me which way gravity goes, using it as resistance to work out tension in my hands and arms. I remembered the chillin' black cat in my lap and also my old training as an operator in esoteric rituals with Ordo Templi Orientis where I learned how to focus my mind to hold sacred space for a group.
It worked! The heart Qi in the room exploded and everyone thanked me for my dance. Then one of my 3 roomates called for a group hug and I found myself surrounded by about 10 people all hugging me and each other.
Then last night girl came back with a friend who she carried all the way from NE on her bike. I went downstairs to ask that they keep the thumpy speakers off for awhile cause I was working on remastering Bardo. She asked if she could come up and join me. I agreed. Later she brought up her other friend cause my roomates had become absorbed in their computers and he was all alone on the porch.
So I got to share Bardo with 2 relative strangers who tripped out on my art and music. They both loved the music. She kept asking, "is that you?" to which I replied, "yeah it's all me except a little bit of my mom and my niece at the beginning". It was a nice ego stroke to say the least, but most of all I'm glad my music is strong enough to speak for itself. It's something I've been cultivating for over 20 years. This album itself has been gestating since early '08. Since I play all the parts at separate times and construct it as I go I'm as surprised as anyone at the end result. I don't plan things when I compose. I play one part at a time as it comes to me so it's as if the music already exists on another level of reality and it uses me to construct itself.
Anyway, there you go. I've had a hard time all my life opening up to social experience which is a big part of why I chose to follow this class more than once. This weekend was a giant leap for me partly thanks to a little black cat on friday the 13th. Bad luck? Well just consider that the culture who decided that black cats and the number 13 were evil also thought that earth, women, dark skinned people and enjoying yourself were evil. Black cats and the number 13 are only made evil by fear which the little black cat helped to teach me how to transcend.
My # is 503 819 8485. If you'd like to hear Bardo in its native environment and/or see my artfully constructed living space give me a call and set up a time. If you bring a laptop or a portable hard drive that can communicate with my iMac I'll give you the remastered version of Bardo plus the PDF of the artwork. If you bring a CD I'll burn it for you, but I'd really prefer reusable media than the little plastic frisbees.